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漂亮的英文怎么写漂亮的英文【汇编20篇】

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简单的英文自我介绍范文

范文类型:自我评介,全文共 749 字

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My name is . Im nine years old. Im in class three, grade eight, Experimental Primary School

I was a tall, white skin, have a glossy black hair, two eyebrows, a pair of big eyes, others are my eyes can speak.

I am a lively and lovely little boy, my character is very outgoing, I see strangers, take the initiative to greet him, let alone acquaintances

My hobby is widespread, reading "playing computer, playing, watching TV, I love reading, my shelves are full of my love of the book, a story King ,

I am a diligent child, I always do my own thing, not let my father and mother go to help, the yard is dirty, I always go clean

I have a weakness is doing homework very careless, this shortcoming I must try hard to correct, please look at my actual action!

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更多相似范文

篇1:大学生精彩的英文自我介绍范文

范文类型:自我评介,适用行业岗位:大学,学生,全文共 743 字

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大家好!我叫孙健。我不但爱运动,还很好学,当然也有不少缺点。在班里我个子不算高,但是从不挨欺负,可是同学们老是给我起外号 孙子 ,我听了只好当没听见。有时我真怨爸爸,世上有一百多个姓,为什么偏姓孙。可这又有什么办法呢?这是天注定,也不能光怨爸爸。

我长着一双乌黑的大眼睛,总是一眨一眨的。眼睛下面长着非常端正的鼻子,还有一张说话漏风的小嘴。我总喜欢提一些天真的问题,有时问的很古怪,使人无以回答。

我特别爱运动,比如打羽毛球、跑步(必须是短跑)、玩篮球、踢足球......记得小时候打羽毛球,我和爸爸一打就是两个多小时。妈妈怕我们累,就劝我说: 别打了,再打就累出病了。 我冲着妈妈扮了个鬼脸,调皮地说; 母亲大人,我和爸爸壮实的很,您老人家放心好了! 说完我们都哈哈大笑起来。

我也很好学,我感觉节假日里最快乐最有意义的事就是逛书店了。只要一到书店,我就像来到了知识的海洋,如饥似渴地读着每本书......有时直到书店关门,我才恋恋不舍地回家。

让我再告诉你一个小秘密吧。不过,你可别笑话我。那是一个下午,刚下第一节课,我便和刘朋玩起了 警察抓小偷 的游戏。一开始,我扮小偷,他扮警察。我在前面跑的时候一不小心把老师放在讲桌上的挂图刮破了,我的心一下提到了嗓子眼,这下,可惨了!可是当刘朋抓我的时候又刮到了挂图,薄薄的挂图立时碎成几片飘到了地上。这时,同学们都看到了,全以为是刘朋弄坏的。我趁机幸灾乐祸地说: 老刘,你惨了。 他也要哭。正在这时上课的铃声响了,老师走了进来。老师看见挂图坏了便问是谁弄的,同学们都一口认定是刘朋。老师狠狠地批评了他一顿,又叫他罚站,我心里开始后悔了。虽然没有人知道弄坏挂图我也有份,但我为什么不敢勇于承认错误呢?今天我终于把它说出来,就算我的又一次深刻反省吧!

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篇2:秒英文自我介绍

范文类型:自我评介,全文共 656 字

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Good morning,guys.

Nice to meet you. My name is, you can also call me Cecilia. I will receive my master degree of traslating and interperting in Guangxi university this July. I am an optimistic and open-minded girl, willing to accept challenges and adapt to working pressure. In daily life, I alwalys set strict demands on myself.

I am good at managing time and have high sense of reponsibility. Maybe, now I know limited knowledge about the position, but I am ready to learn. And I believe that through your careful training and my constant learning, I can stand competitive and make contributions for you. So please give me a chance and test me. Thank you.

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篇3:空姐应聘英文自我介绍

范文类型:求职应聘,自我评介,全文共 873 字

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Dear Sir:

Good morning/afternoon everyone! It is my honor to be here and I really appreciate you offer me the chance of interview .Now I will introduce myself first .My name is……from Xiangfan in Hubei province. Im an honest, responsible, and warm-hearted person. I can adapt different environments quickly .Second I like this kind of field very much and I take it as my career .Till now I have one year experience in this field. As a 21 years man, Id like to experience more to enrich myself and then it can help me to laid good foundation for my future career .There is no use doing what we love ,we must love we do just like the field. At the same time, I am really proud of myself applying for this job. I hope you can give me a chance and I will try my best to do it better. Finally , I hope your hotel can become the best one among hotel industry。 Thanks for your time.

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篇4:个人入职自我介绍英文

范文类型:自我评介,适用行业岗位:个人,全文共 1404 字

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Hello, my name is Liu Suihan, from Hefei sales department. Graduated from Ontario Jianghuai College English professional.11 month early to practice here, has half the time.

"Jiangnan autumn do not withered grass", this is the deepest feeling here.

Jessica trees suffering Bicao, first touched me is the beauty here for strangeness places it was quietly fade. Then the unknown expectations and worries...

With full of doubts and curiosity to department practice, we own, busy awfully. I feel it is a lot to learn. Wang managers voice is nice, cordial and thorough; the atmosphere here is very harmonious, warm and gentle.

Later in the day, the Ministry of training, explain and Prospect of the details of the new director Liu, and colleagues in the ups and downs of the stadium and carefree, I think I fell in love with this place...

Two days of the week, from the beginning to now feel a long day flies, soon to report back to Hefei, I think I will miss the days here clearly here picturesque scenery.

Active thinking of me, but occasionally love silence; love thinking, quietly listening to the time flow away from the side; love in their own way to think about the world, simply to see something beautiful. Love, love beautiful day, love life, love is the common struggle you as long as the heart is beautiful. And everything you see will be beautiful.

Look forward to working with you hand in hand with golf!

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篇5:大学英文道歉信范文

范文类型:道歉信,适用行业岗位:大学,全文共 350 字

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Dear ,

I am so sorry that I was late to the class this morning.Although it because that I missed the bus so that I had to wait another 15 minutes for the next one,I still need to take the full responsibility for it.

If you would accept my appologize,that would be great.I promiss you that I will not be late to any class again.

Yours sincerely

Tony Blair

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篇6:成绩单英文自我评价

范文类型:自我评介,全文共 1513 字

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Good people management and communication skills. Team player.有良好的人员管理和交际能力。能在集体中发挥带头作用。

Able to work under high pressure and time limitation.能够在高压力下和时间限制下进行工作。

Be elegant and with nice personality.举止优雅、个人性格好。

With good managerial skills and organizational capabilities.有良好的管理艺术和组织能力。

The main qualities required are preparedness to work hard, ability to learn, ambition and good health.主要必备素质是吃苦耐劳精神好、学习能力优、事业心强和身体棒。

Mature,self-motivated and strong interpersonal skills.思想成熟、上进心强,并具极丰富的人际关系技巧。

Energetic,fashion-minded person.精力旺盛、思想新潮。

With a pleasant mature attitude.开朗成熟。

Strong determination to succeed.有获得成功的坚定决心。

Strong leadership skills.有极强的领导艺术。

Ability to work well with others.能够同他人一道很好地工作。

Highly-motivated and reliable person with excellent health and pleasant personality.上进心强又可靠者,并且身体健康、性格开朗。

The ability to initiate and operate independently.有创业能力,并能独立地从业。

Strong leadership skill while possessing a great team spirit.有很高的领导艺术和很强的集体精神。

Be highly organized and effecient.工作很有条理,办事效率高。

Willing to learn and progress.肯学习进取。

Good presentation skills.有良好的表达能力。

Positive active mind essential.有积极、灵活的头脑。

Ability to deal with personnel at all levels effectively.善于同各种人员打交道。

Have positive work attitude and be willing and able to work diligently without supervision.有积极的工作态度,愿意和能够在没有监督的情况下勤奋地工作。

Young,bright,energetic with strong career-ambition.年轻、聪明、精力充沛,并有很强的事业心。

Having good and extensive social connections.具有良好而广泛的社会关系。

Being active, creative and innonative is a plus.思想活跃、有首创和革新精神尤佳。

With good analytical capability.有较强的

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篇7:出纳员英文自我评价

范文类型:自我评介,适用行业岗位:出纳,全文共 2359 字

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First, have good work skills

Cashier external units more settlement, is an image window; internal is a service window, internal staff reimbursement is frequent, is a masters. So I have to do is not confused, tickets on the spot error-free, inventory cash fast and accurate, not only to grasp the financial policy, dry up the work also handy, have strong operational capacity, plans, computer, Money everything is accurate, busy and not chaos.

Second, the sense of innovation

In the eyes of many people is a major invention of innovation is what, it is not true, as long as the actual work from the start, to improve the actual work, to promote practical work to a new level, is innovation. I have this spirit. I work for the staff reimbursement of travel expenses, reimbursement and the original invoice paste sheet, are made through my reasonable proposals after the improvement of the voucher paper size selection, the original document paste single filling format, the original paste Single requirements of the content design, font layout requirements, printed on the back of the original paste operator note, not only to improve the work, more importantly, is to put the accounting file binding and management.

Third, there is a responsible attitude

1, the strict implementation of cash management and settlement system, regular checks to the accounting cash and accounts and found that the amount of cash does not match, so that timely treatment.

2, the timely recovery of the companys income, out of receipts, cash withdrawals in time to the bank, never sit cash.

3, according to the basis for providing accounting, teaching staff wages and other timely payment of funds to be paid.

Fourth, there are honest and clean spirit

Constantly improve their professional ethics, the cashier is a special occupation, it is in contact with a lot a day a lot of money, tens of thousands of banknotes, really worthy of the hands of family wealth. Without good professional ethics, it is difficult to pass the "money off." Compared with other accountants, as a cashier I should strictly abide by.

Work always have errors, as long as we find out the reasons from each trip, summed up the lessons, failing to make the same mistakes, our work will continue to progress, slowly there will be improvement, in fact, excellent On the original in the occupation of a good work habits.

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篇8:成绩优秀英文自我评价

范文类型:自我评介,全文共 1925 字

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After 2-x years have passed, I entered has been a full two years, although halfway had left for two months, but I will cherish my choice - to be a qualified cashier.

I remember once heard such a sentence: "The more difficult place, the more able to exercise the will of the people, the more people can feel full." came to work more to feel the meaning of this sentence. Basically, every day at the same checkout for a few hours, in the face of countless customers, of which the hardship is self-evident. But I did not give up, especially in our shop, each time to take turns to the back door to work, it is winter, we suffered the cold is to be imagined. Every time I go to the back door to work, hands, feet all frozen swollen, the summer sun direct us, but I did not give up over insistence. "The customer is God," the purpose of cashiers in this ordinary post, the burden on the shoulder is not light: the same day a repeat of the work, but also to explain to customers all their questions, and no matter how harsh the customer said , Must learn to endure all the grievances in my heart.

In the past work, we always encounter some problems, such as commodity price and computer does not match, we should promptly notify the team to verify, and to ask the patience of customers, there must be a smile service, when you Smile to customers, no matter how dissatisfied with our customers, this time his mood will be followed by sunny. Smile is the most charming expression, a smile does not charge a penny to give a lot of people know how to smile on life, will have a beautiful life, when you smile when the world is smiling to you. Then there is to pay attention to language art: "Do not quarrel with the customer, not insult, sarcasm, satire customers."

The above is what I feel most in the work, I hope I can work in the future to do so. I believe that as long as all our staff work together, tomorrow will be more brilliant!

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篇9:招聘英文自我介绍

范文类型:招聘,自我评介,全文共 567 字

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Good morniing, dear judges!My name is ××. I m honored to have this opportunity to paticipate in this interview.Im 19 years old, from Hubei Province.Im confident, outgoing and open-minded, so all the teachers and friends like me very much.Im deeply attracted by flight attendents for their charming temperament.Their sweet smile and elegant appearance make me eager to become one of them.If you give me this opportunity, I will try my best to win every passengers appreciation and love relying on my deligence, sincerity and passion.Thats all for my speech, thank you!

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篇10:英文的工作自我评价范文

范文类型:自我评介,全文共 265 字

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I am enthusiastic, confident, self-motivated, serious and responsible, good team spirit and good personal affinity; elegant, nice, energetic, methodical work, strong sense of responsibility; has excellent thinking, communication and ability to learn, love teamwork.

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篇11:班长的英文自我评价

范文类型:自我评介,适用行业岗位:班长,全文共 2379 字

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At work, I am an active, serious and responsible person. Whether it is done in the class squad leader, or captain of team practice, I willing to pay, and strict demands on themselves, seriously, promptly and responsibly as we do everything their own things to do. I am a serious and responsible attitude and spirit willing to pay to obtain the courtyard teachers and students unanimous recognition and praise.

Farewell University, Bachelor of clothes to wear, get rid of all the vulgar and shallow wound, the show is a new self. From the silly to the wise, from the "greenhouse flowers" to the community, we bid farewell to some of the things that some people do not take anything away, except for one empty bags. Hopes and anxious coexistence, joy and love intertwined, what a wonderful feeling ah!

Although never to the extent of academic scholarship, but I learned a lot in the process. The first is their own self-learning ability improved, university courses rely on classroom attendance is totally inadequate.Shall own research and often go to the library to find some relevant information, over time. Again it is to understand the application of learning to think independently while focusing on learning alone is not going to work hard at hard study, to learn "approach." As the old saying words "Give a man a fish, as delegate to fish", I just want to learn "fishing." All beginnings are hard. But I did not give up. In learning, always remind myself to think independently, over time, my mind has also been a qualitative leap.

We can say that the university is the loose and a good cultural atmosphere trained me, so I have a solid professional knowledge, with a wide range of capabilities and quality, for their own out of school, to the community was fully ready. I believe I am capable of performing a variety of work. Of course, due to the lack of social experience, I have the ability to deal with other aspects of the matter is not very strong, still we need to hone the actual work, you need to continue to find deficiencies in the work, continue to improve.

Process is memorable, the harvest is abundant. In the blink of an eye on the upcoming three years like the past, in this short but fulfilling day, I learned a lot. Of course, I also know there are many who shortcomings, I believe that I will inherit learning and training in the future work and social life.

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篇12:关于初中学生英文自我介绍

范文类型:自我评介,适用行业岗位:初中,中学,学生,全文共 1213 字

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Hello.My name is Liew Cai Ling.My forename is Lily.Of course,I am a girl.I am eleven years old .Im in grade 7 now.

My hobby is (爱好)_____.I usually ______during my recess time.(空闲是做什么?)And I am a ______(星座).

There are ___members in my family,They are my father,mother _____ ,_______ and me.(哥哥还是姐姐?)

My father is a/an _____(职位),he works at______(工作地方).My mother is a _____(家庭主妇么?).She always cooks delicious foods for us.My brother and my sister are students.They are now study in ______(学校名字)

Thats all about me.Thank you for your attention.

2,My name is Liu yang.I`m a thirteen-year-old boy.I`m a student of Class Four,Grade Seven in the No.3 middle school from Luo yang .My study is well.I`m tall and strong.

I`m a diligent boy.I study hard at all my lessons.My dream is to be a knowledgeable man.I know it`s very hard.The way is very long.But I will try my best to do it well.And I belive myself.

I have many hobies.They are reading,running,swimming,playing,basketball,climbing and playing table tennis.Everyday I all need some time to reading.On Saturdays I play basketball or play table tennis with my friends.

In my free time,sometimes I help my mother with housework or do what I want to do.

I have a colorful life!

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篇13:出国留学介绍信英文精选范文

范文类型:介绍信,适用行业岗位:留学,全文共 497 字

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申请人,___,男,25岁,1995年08月05日出生,20__年7月毕业于____旅游管理专业。

我喜欢旅游,大学我选择了旅游管理专业,开始系统学习旅游管理知识,课程涉及__国家的旅游文化,当时__国家独特的文化内涵给了我很大的感触,我想自己毕业后如果能到__国家进一步学习,对开阔视野提升知识面一定会有很大的帮助,但是要去__国家,语言是首先要解决的问题,毕业后,我选择到烟台昂立外语学院学__国家语,经过一段时间的学习,我发现国内学校教的大都为书面化的东西,只有到__国家才能领悟到精确的本土文化,我跟父母说了我的想法,父母表示大力支持,,并且他们已经为我提供了足够的留学资金。

正好有朋友给我推荐了白石大学,这所大学可以先学习基础语言后学习专业,我觉得挺不错,为了我的梦想,我会在学校努力学习语言,语言合格后,继续留在本校读研,相信本校的专业一定会让我学有所成的。

学成回国后,我准备开个主题旅游策划公司,实践自己所学知识。我对所学的这个专业充满激情和动力,当然,我更热爱我的祖国和爸爸妈妈,相信通过我的努力,我会更好的回报祖国的培养和爸妈的养育之恩。

此致

敬礼!

介绍人:__

20__年_月_日

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篇14:英文商务邀请函相关范文

范文类型:邀请函,适用行业岗位:商务,全文共 360 字

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Dear sir/madam:

Thank you for your letter of [date]. I’m glad that you are also going to [place] next month. It would be a great pleasure to meet you at the [exhibition/trade fair].

Our company is having a reception at [hotel] on the evening of [date] and I would be very pleased if you could attend.

I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Yours sincerely,

[name]

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篇15:简短自我介绍英文

范文类型:自我评介,全文共 360 字

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Hello, everyone! My name is .My Chinese name is . I am very glad to join you in this class. I just graduated from senior high school. I like Britain very much, so if I could study in Britain one day, I would be very happy. But my English is not very good now. So Id like to improve my English in this class. And very glad to see our teacher Mr/Mrs . Thank you.

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篇16:博士英语复试自我介绍_英文自我介绍_网

范文类型:自我评介,全文共 5151 字

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博士英语复试自我介绍

博士考试制度的重要组成部分,即通过博士生入学考试(初试)后参加的,由报考院校组织进行的第二次考试。那么博士复试时如何用英语介绍自己呢?以下是第一范文网小编为大家整理的关于博士英语复试自我介绍,给大家作为参考,欢迎阅读!

博士英语复试自我介绍篇1

Good afternoon! Professors :

I am honored to introduce myself. My name is 30 years old, born in city, province. In year 20xx and 20xx, I received my Bachelor degree and Master degree in i University. I major in .

After my graduation, I got a job in . In the past three years, I was involved in several research projects, such as 。Owning to my hard work, I was rewarded the Excellent Prize in the successive three years.

However, with time going on, the more I experienced, the clearer I realized that I am really interested in the exchange process of . I find that the similar and complicated problems rise in my study subject, so I’m eager to cognize more about this field and I hope I can study further in this University .

So I am standing here now. I am really excited. I believe what I am doing is a right thing.

I am interested in . I find that the similar and complicated problems rise in my study subject, so I’m eager to cognize more about this field and I hope I can study further in this University .

Thank you!

Firstly, I hope I can form systematic view of . Secondly, I wish to find a way to solve the complicated problem in my study subject.

Firstly, I will work harder than before. I believe I am industrious man and “Time is money”. Secondly, my dissertation can rely on my study subject, they have similarity, so time can be saved.

Finally, I will read enough English papers to finish my SCI paper.

博士英语复试自我介绍篇2

It’s my pleasure to be here to introduce myself. That’s a difficult question. I think all the night. How to introduce myself? Tell you who I am? You all know my name is Liu Xiaonao. Tell you what my major is or what I am doing now? You all know I study ink-jet paper, and yesterday you all my examiners. So today I’ll tell you my characters and favorites. I’m an open-minded, kind and smart girl. I like dancing, especially national and classical dancing, waltz is also my love. Dancing can make me relax when I study tired. But about two years I have no chance to dance because my study subject is more attractive than dancing. Last month I began to study play piano. But till now I only can play one song “jasmine flower”. Maybe I’m a slow learner. I also like drama. I had participated in the exam of actress. I’m very luck I succeed in the exam. But make me surprised the director asked me to give him 50,000 yuan. So I went back to my study. Now I realize what I really like. That’s my major—printing and paper making. It’s the place which can actualize my own personal worth. That’s my life, wonderful life and interesting life. I hope the sun is always in my life. Thank you.

博士英语复试自我介绍篇3

Thank you for giving me the chance to interview and it is my pleasure to introduce myself to you. My name is LiFeng. I major in ……and I will graduate from the…….. Medical University in July, 20xx. Hope a chance to work and develop in your department. During the past three years, under the strict guidance of my tutor, professor ……in college of ………, I have learned systematically the theory of profession and got the basic manipulative skills about …….. With the help of my supervisor, I have successfully finished the subject “……… ” and grasped some experimental skill , such as cell culture, DNA extraction and other molecular biology technique; abstraction, separation, … I passed the CET band 6 test in20xx, after that, I tried my best to learn Medical English and mastered a lot of professional vocabulary. I am good at listening, speaking, reading and writing.. I can manipulate computer proficiently and master Microsoft Office software, also be familiar with SPSS and Photoshop, etc. During three-year study in research, I studied hard and strived for excellence in our field. I benefit from working together with excellent colleague. I developed quality of diligence, responsibility, kindness and honesty. My internship in college of ….. could qualify me for this job, and I believe I can be fit for the position quickly. I am looking forward to working in your department. If I am admitted, I will be thankful and try my best to work for you.

博士英语复试自我介绍篇4

Introduce myself

Good morning, Dear Professors:

It’s my honor to introduce myself. My name is chenchen, I am from qingyang County anhui Province, April 6 I was born in a common family, and my parents are workers, I love and respect them very much. We were delight with my becoming a fresh man in September 1994. Luckily, I was permitted to be a graduate student after 5 years colorful life on campus. I received my Bachelor degree 20xx in anhui agriculture university Institute of (College of )Resources and Environmental Science, then a Master degree 20xx in anhui agriclture University of Science and Technology. For those 7 years my major was Die Design. Before I received my Master degree, I had done the subject of meteorology. For the past 3 years, I have been in anhui agriculture College, where I have been and still am a teacher. I teach students Machine Design etc. I have published more than 10 first-author papers. That’s all, thanks!

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篇17:教师招聘英文自我介绍

范文类型:招聘,自我评介,适用行业岗位:教师,全文共 1275 字

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In 20xx, I was admitted to School of College of Mathematics and Computer Science,Guangxi Normal University in Guilin. I majored in Computer Science. I have been interested in my major since I was in middle school, because computer can make our life easy. My college teachers were very patient, friendly and knowledgeable. I learned a lot in college, such as how to study, how to get along with others and so on. I also learned independence and the importance of working hard. In 20xx, I graduated from college with honor. College life was wonderful and unforgettable. It’s one of the most important parts in my life.

Now I work as a teacher in a middle school in . I teach computer science there. I try my best to be a good teacher. I’m responsible and work very hard. I love my students. They are very young, happy and clever. In order to take entrance exam for graduate, I spend most of spare time on studying. Of course I often play badmintonwith my colleagues or with my students. My favorite is studying, especially, discussing and solving the problem with others, because I can learn much from my partners, and I can express my own opinion. I like computer science, especially, computer architecture. I want to have different challenges in my life.That’s all, thank you.

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篇18:marketing英文简历自我评价

范文类型:求职应聘,自我评介,全文共 785 字

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* administrative professional, has good professional theoretical knowledge and practical experience.

* Two years engaged in personnel administration, according to the companys development system in line with the concept of corporate governance policies, personnel recruitment and other related systems.

* Able to multi-disciplinary work, adaptable, in two years with a single work, safeguard interests of the company, self-denial and dedication.

* For a substantial foreign trade operations, to manage the operation Ali International Station and other international trade platform Global Vision

* Learning genus pragmatic type of staff. Serious and responsible work. Good at innovation in a challenging environment. The courage to take responsibility and enjoy work. He emphasizes teamwork

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篇19:简单学生自我介绍英文

范文类型:自我评介,适用行业岗位:学生,全文共 611 字

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I am Kenny Lee, a student from TangShan Secondary School. I am a vibrant person and also a deep thinker. I love reading since it can enrich my knowledge as well as sharpening my thinking skills. Apart from that, I am an optimistic and highly self-motivated person. Also I have immense eagerness to try, learn and explore new things. I celebrate and appreciate differences between people, so I enjoy teamwork and interacting with others, I believe that builds my friendly and approachable character. Living a meaningful life, filling people around me with love and contributing to the world is my life-long goal.

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篇20:2024年英文优秀辞职报告范文

范文类型:辞职信,汇报报告,全文共 3387 字

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Dear Mr. Smith,

As a graduate of an institution of higher education, I have a few very basic expectations. Chief among these is that my direct superiors have an intellect that ranges above the common ground squirrel. After your consistent and annoying harassment of my co-workers and me during the commission of our duties, I can only surmise that you are one of the few true genetic wastes of our time.

Asking me, a network administrator, to explain every little nuance of everything I do each time you happen to stroll into my office is not only a waste of time, but also a waste of precious oxygen. I was hired because I know how to network computer systems, and you were apparently hired to provide amusement to myself and other employees, who watch you vainly attempt to understand the concept of cut and paste for the hundredth time.

You will never understand computers. Something as incredibly simple as binary still gives you too many options. You will also never understand why people hate you, but I am going to try and explain it to you, even though I am sure this will be just as effective as telling you what an IP address is. Your shiny new iMac has more personality than you ever will.

You walk around the building all day, shiftlessly looking for fault in others. You have a sharp dressed, useless look about you that may have worked for your interview, but now that you actually have responsibility, you pawn it off on overworked staff, hoping their talent will cover for your glaring ineptitude. In a world of managerial evolution, you are the blue-green algae that everyone else eats and laughs at. Managers like you are a sad proof of the Dilbert principle.

Since this situation is unlikely to change without you getting a full frontal lobotomy reversal, I am forced to tender my resignation. However, I have a few parting thoughts.

1. When someone calls you in reference to employment, it is illegal for you to give me a bad recommendation. The most you can say to hurt me is I prefer not to comment. I will have friends randomly call you over the next couple of years to keep you honest, because I know you would be unable to do it on your own.

2. I have all the passwords to every account on the system, and I know every password you have used for the last five years. If you decide to get cute, I am going to publish your favorites list, which I conveniently saved when you made me back up your useless files. I do believe that terms like Lolita are not usually viewed favorably by the administration.

3. When you borrowed the digital camera to take pictures of your Mothers birthday, you neglected to mention that you were going to take pictures of yourself in the mirror nude. Then you forgot to erase them like the techno-moron you really are. Suffice it to say I have never seen such odd acts with a sauce bottle, but I assure you that those have been copied and kept in safe places pending the authoring of a glowing letter of recommendation. (Try to use a spell check please; I hate having to correct your mistakes.)

Thank you for your time, and I expect the letter of recommendation on my desk by 8:00 am tomorrow. One word of this to anybody, and all of your little twisted repugnant obsessions will be open to the public. Never screw with your systems administrator. Why? Because they know what you do with all that free time!

Wishing you a grand and glorious day.

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